- 8 Ways To Spot A Fake Nice Person
- 1. They always pretend to be nice:
- 2. They make false promises:
- 3. They corner their prey:
- 4. They never initiate contact:
- 5. The Critique:
- The 7 Habits of Truly Genuine People
- 14 Signs Of Fake Friends: How To Spot One A Mile Off
- 1. You Only Hear From Them When They Need Or Want Something
- 2. They Put You Down
- 3. You Are Their Emotional Punching Bag
- 4. They Go Ballistic If You Call Them Out On Poor Or Hurtful Behavior
- 5. They Disappear When You Need Them
- 6. You Feel You Have To Walk On Eggshells With Them
- 7. They May Fish For Information
- 8. They Don’t Fight Your Corner
- 9. They Only Know You On A Superficial Level
- 10. They Mostly Talk About Themselves
- 11. They Spread Rumor And Gossip
- 12. They Begrudge Your Success Or Happiness
- 13. They Will Judge Your Mistakes, Failures, And Poor Judgments Harshly
- 14. They Hold Grudges And Never Forget (Or Let You Forget)
- The Actual Differences Between Being Nice And Being Fake
- 8 Signs of Fake People to Look Out For
8 Ways To Spot A Fake Nice Person
We come across all kinds of people in our lives. Some we , some we love, and some are the type that comes to us primarily to teach lessons about love, friendship, trust and a lot more.
Those are the ones that one can call “fake”” They have more than side to themselves. Relying on either of these sides is hard. Fake people never really mean the things say or do. Who they are changes according to the situations and circumstances.
They’re not one of those who you could trust to be the same.
Their words, moods, behavior and general stance on things and people never remains constant.
Two-faced and inauthentic people may be incredibly sweet to you when you’re around, but in your absence, they may just be the complete opposite; they will tell you the really you, and they will tell someone else you’re a horrible person behind your back. Yes, people do that.
No one wants to associate themselves with people who are fake and unreliable. If you’re going to steer clear from anyone who may be false, it is essential to identify the defining characteristics of their personalities. How do you define a toxic, fake person coming from miles away?
1. They always pretend to be nice:
. No one is capable of being friendly to anyone all the time. Sometimes, even the people we look up to can lose their temper, get upset, end up fighting, crying, because human beings cannot always be our best selves. If you sense someone being kind to you all the time, let me tell you something, their constant niceness should alarm you.
See it as a warning. No matter how absurd it sounds, you must always take caution from people who are being incredibly kind and sweet to the point where it starts to feel unnatural. There is almost always an agenda behind their niceness. They could be wanting something from you or maybe something else. You can never really know with such people.
2. They make false promises:
Someone who’s goodness is fake has a habit of making too many commitments, making themselves look people who you could count on.
They make sure to make us believe they will be by our side in our time of need. But whenever you ask for their help, and you want them to hold your hand in difficult times, they will vanish into thin air.
They will never be seen anywhere around you until they know your problem is solved.
They will give you stupid reasons for not being able to help you but understand that such people are never honest about helping you out. They will stick around only when it is convenient for them. If you know someone who does this, make sure to stop trusting them because they’re actions and sentiments are indeed fake.
3. They corner their prey:
When you have something to say or to get off your chest, they will turn a deaf ear to it. It is not part of their personality to listen. However, their talking is what they make use of. You will see a two-faced person talk individually to multiple people and never come the shadows about what they’ve been saying. They will choose never to say things out loud.
Everything will be whispered and slipped indirectly during conversations. Such a person may usually not have an end goal, but it is instead their need for temporary gratification or an ego boost.
They will use these tactics to corner their prey, slowly and secretly say untrue things about someone to others.
To top it off, they will be lovely to this person still so that the person may never have a clue about what is being said about them by their back.
4. They never initiate contact:
Every relationship should have efforts from both the sides. If you are the only one who is making the first one move and making attempts to meet them or contact them, then stop and analyze this situation. People who are kind to your face acting your closest friend, while not bothering at all about you when you have not tried to be around them, are fake and hypocritical.
5. The Critique:
When a friend engages in critique, they do so to help or improve some aspects of your personality, work or whatever it may be. However, no positivity can come with critiquing a friend behind their back.
They’re the type of people who will point out everything disagreeable about you to everyone except for the person in question.
Because, while they sugarcoat this as “critiquing you for your betterment” it is just talking about you behind your back.
They may act they want what is best for you, the truth is their good intentions are fake. They will be jealous for your happiness you’re your success. They will talk behind your back.
Remember, when someone isn’t being fake, they will hide your flaws form the world, not show them around and point them out as soon as they get a chance to do.
That’s how a two-faced person functions in social settings, and there isn’t anything you can do to change that.
The 7 Habits of Truly Genuine People
Source: Paul Schlemmer/Shutterstock
We tend to value “genuine” people and think poorly of those whom we perceive as being “fake”—but why is that? After all, what motivates “fakeness” is an effort to appear more appealing or impressive, so shouldn’t we find people who care about our opinions more appealing than those who, by definition, do their own thing regardless of what we think?
Well, no, we shouldn’t—and for three basic reasons:
- We are much more ly to trust a genuine person than a fake one because we believe those who are true to themselves are also ly to be truer and more honest with us.
- We often associate genuineness with appealing traits, such as strength of character and emotional resilience—and correctly so, as being true to yourself takes confidence, tenacity, and often even bravery.
- We are attracted to uniqueness and individuality, qualities genuine people usually have in spades.
Many journeys of self-improvement and self-discovery involve efforts to live a more authentic life. Adopting the following seven habits can help you become a more genuine person—however, balance is important. Overdoing any of these might do more harm than good so be sure to set moderate, not extreme, goals when it comes to working on them.
1. Genuine people speak their mind.
This is actually a two-step habit. Genuine people take time to figure out their own opinions and perspectives about things, and they are not shy about sharing their thought-out opinions with others.
The manner in which they share their opinions also matters: Genuine people are comfortable presenting their ideas without expecting or needing to convince others they are right.
One thing that helps them get in touch with their true opinions and perspectives is…
2. Genuine people respond to internal expectations, not external ones.
Genuine people spend time thinking about and exploring their own beliefs, ideals, standards, and expectations because they rely on the answers to these questions to give them direction and purpose in life.
Of course, identifying your own ideas and beliefs is not necessarily easy, since they can easily conflict with the beliefs and standards of the families, communities, and cultures in which you were raised.
Indeed, being authentic is often associated with being brave because you're then ly to do the following…
3. Genuine people forge their own paths.
Being authentic is not just about what you think or say but what you do and how you are in the world. Being guided by an internal compass means not having to follow the conventional or typical routes others take to achieve their goals.
Therefore, genuine people search for and discover their own unique way of pursuing their passions and purpose, often forging an entirely new path as they do. The risk of forging a new and unproven path is that not all your efforts will be successful.
4. Genuine people are not threatened by failure.
The reason most people follow conventional routes is they are supposedly “proven” and “safer,” and therefore more ly to yield success. On the other hand, taking the road less (or never) travelled is risky and can lead to failure.
Yet, genuine people do so because they are not threatened by the idea of failing. In fact, they view failure as an integral part of their journey, a source of learning, and an enriching experience from which they can grow.
Because they find failures instructive rather than threatening…
5. Genuine people can admit their faults.
To be true to your feelings and opinions you must first be honest with yourself about your thoughts, beliefs, and behavior—which means confronting the bad along with the good.
As such, genuine people are ly to recognize their faults and shortcomings, to accept them, and to take responsibility for their actions as a result.
Indeed, their general ability to own their faults, mistakes, and failures extends beyond how they see themselves such that…
6. Genuine people are not judgmental of others.
Being honest about their own faults and embracing individuality and differences leads genuine people to be less judgmental and more accepting of the people around them.
Their fundamental assumptions about human complexity and their reluctance to view people via the lens of bias or preconceived expectations allows them a purer perspective that usually leads to direct and honest interactions and relationships.
And all of the habits listed above stem from one core psychological characteristic of genuine people…
7. Genuine people have solid self-esteem.
Having solid self-esteem means having stable self-esteem that is neither too high nor too low. (Narcissists, for example, have high but brittle self-esteem.
) As a result, genuine people can tolerate and absorb failure and criticism, admit their faults, and be accepting of others because they are not threatened by imperfection.
Indeed, having solid self-esteem means, by definition, that you can absorb both negative and positive feedback and acknowledge aspects of your character that might need work or improvement without diminishing your overall sense of self-worth.
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14 Signs Of Fake Friends: How To Spot One A Mile Off
Life takes us on some rather interesting journeys, and having wonderful friends with us on the long ride can make both the best and worst periods a lot more enjoyable.
That said, having crappy, fake friends can make even the best situation quite horrible, and the worst of life’s trials just… hellish.
Real friends are there for you when you need them, are fun and supportive, and will call you out on your bullsh*t or crappy life choices because they love you, not because they want to make you feel bad.
Below are some of the traits exhibited by fake friends: take a look at them and ask yourself if anyone in your social circle embodies these traits.
1. You Only Hear From Them When They Need Or Want Something
“Oh, hey… I haven’t talked to you in forever, how are you doing? Are you free next weekend? See, I’m moving and I’m going to need some help slinging boxes…”
And more common than you might realize.
You might not have heard from this person for six months or more, but funny how you came to mind as soon as they needed manual labor taken care of.
If you’ve proven that you’ll come to this person’s rescue whenever needed, that’s the role they’ve labeled you with: the helper, the fixer, the one they can depend on.
They’ll appreciate you in the moment, sure, and thank you with pizza and beer and what have you, but then you won’t hear from them again for at least six months until something else comes up that they need help tending to.
2. They Put You Down
Subtle digs in the guise of playful teasing, one-upmanship, and backhanded compliments are just a few of the ways that fake friends may try to put you down in order to make themselves feel better.
They usually do so from a place of pain, having low self-esteem, or projecting their issues with having been mistreated by others in a similar manner, but understanding where their behavior stems from doesn’t make it okay, nor easy to deal with.
A female friend may give an item of clothing to someone else, and when/if the recipient tries it on and expresses joy with it, they might say something akin to: “Yeah, I thought it was really cute, but it was HUGE on me… I figured it would fit you instead.”
Or, when introduced to your new boyfriend/girlfriend, the fake friend might sow seeds of insecurity, saying that the person is way your league and will undoubtedly leave you for someone better looking/wealthier/more successful.
They may even hit on your new partner right in front of you to boost their own ego.
3. You Are Their Emotional Punching Bag
You know that person who only ever tells you about all the awful crap going on in their life?
Yeah. That one.
Often, they can be labeled as “askholes,” in that they constantly ask your opinion about their choices or situation, but never take your advice.
In fact, they often do the complete opposite of what you advise them to do, and tend to keep repeating the same awful, self-destructive patterns of behavior over and over again, without ever learning from them.
Instead of being introspective and self-aware, and maybe doing some measure of growing as a result of running the same gauntlet a dozen times over, they pour all their frustration and negativity into you.
They force you to do their emotional labor for them, and will ly tell you about how much better they feel after talking to you.
An example may be a person who is being abused by their partner, tells you all the awful things that happen behind closed doors, but stays with that partner a misguided sense of “love” and “loyalty.”
So you’re the one who fumes at the table the next time they’re over for dinner because you know what’s been going on, but your so-called friend is as pleased as punch because they’re not stressed at all: they’ve handed all that negativity to you to deal with, so their heart’s lightened.
4. They Go Ballistic If You Call Them Out On Poor Or Hurtful Behavior
If you tell a true friend that they’ve said or done something that’s upset you, they’ll apologize and try to make amends.
If you tell a fake friend the same thing, they’ll ly get defensive, lose their sh*t at you, start fabricating lies to make you feel that you’re the one who’s in the wrong, and then stop talking to you for a while.
See, the thing is, when someone truly cares about you, they’ll do their best to ensure your relationship is symbiotic.
If they care more about themselves, their wants, and their needs, then they stop seeing you as a person who deserves to be respected and cared for: you exist solely for their benefit, and at their convenience.
Calling them out on their bullsh*t shatters that illusion, and they’ll rage about it.
5. They Disappear When You Need Them
Funny how you may always be there for your friend when they need you, but when you need something in turn, they’re nowhere to be found.
Yeah, that’s not a real friend at all.
If they just happen to be busy each and every time you need them, or if they ghost on you and can’t keep a single promise they’ve made you, there’s a pretty good chance that they’re only keeping you around for their own benefit.
This is also a trait common to narcissists, so be careful: if one decides that you’re their favorite person, you may be in for a whole world of ugly.
They’ll be difficult to get rid of, as they’ll guilt trip you and make you feel the worst person on the planet for not pandering to them when they’re being all fragile and pathetic.
6. You Feel You Have To Walk On Eggshells With Them
Fake friends expect you to be an ever-supportive, nodding, smiling creature who agrees with everything they say, and are quick to pull the trigger and start a huge fight if you have an opinion or idea that differs from theirs.
They might spf about political or social issues, expecting you to echo their thoughts, and strike you down if you dare disagree.
If you do, they may publicly mock you for doing so, tell you how disappointed they are with you for not seeing “the truth,” and cut off communication with you until you wake up and see the world from their perspective.
Real friends can agree to disagree, and respect one another’s opinions and beliefs. End of.
7. They May Fish For Information
Some people will come into your life and try to befriend you solely to suit another’s purpose.
It’s ridiculous and juvenile, but it’s really quite astonishing how many so-called adults actually can’t seem to behave with integrity and maturity.
A new person may enter your life (usually via social media) and is immediately really chatty and eager to get to know you.
In no time flat, they might start asking personal questions about some other people in your circle, and if you do a bit of digging, you’ll find that you have an acquaintance in common – usually someone you’ve had a falling out with.
Have you broken up with someone recently? This new “friend” might be spying on you for them to see what you’re up to so they can report back.
Or perhaps a coworker who diss you is trying to dig up dirt on you to get you fired.
You might laugh at these scenarios, but you’d be surprised at how often they occur, despite the fact that they’re utterly ridiculous.
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8. They Don’t Fight Your Corner
A fake friend won’t stick their neck out and back you up if there is an argument between you and another person.
They won’t stand up for you and vouch for your character because that would mean they risk being disd by those you are in disagreement with.
Instead, they will look on silently, letting you fight alone.
As much as they may gain something from having you in their life, it’s not enough for them to take action on your behalf. They would rather lose you than take your side.
9. They Only Know You On A Superficial Level
They know your name, where you live, perhaps what sort of food you , but that’s almost as far as it goes.
They don’t know what really makes you tick. There’s no deeper understanding of you as a unique person, just a superficial level of unimportant detail.
And that’s because they rarely ask the more probing questions that real friends ask. They never initiate the wonderfully interesting conversations about life and beyond.
Nor do they inquire about the big things going on in your life. Had a baby? They barely noticed you were pregnant. Lost a loved one? Don’t expect them to send flowers.
In truth, they don’t care about connecting with you on a meaningful level because they don’t see or value you as an important part of their life.
And that’s mainly because…
10. They Mostly Talk About Themselves
When it comes to conversation, their favorite topic is themselves.
They are self-absorbed conversational narcissists who spend the majority of their time discussing their lives and, as we mentioned above, their problems.
They regale you with stories about how they once met someone famous or the adventures they have been on. And these are ly to be stories you’ve heard many times before.
But they don’t often ask how you are doing or what’s going on in your life. And if they do, it’s only toward the end of your time together when they have exhausted every topic that involves them.
And even then, when they have run things to say about themselves…
11. They Spread Rumor And Gossip
If they have heard a juicy nugget of information, you can be sure that everyone they know will have heard it too by the end of the day.
They love the thrill of hearing and spreading gossip about other people. You hear it all the time as they unload random “facts” they have picked up around the water cooler.
You pretend to be interested, but you barely know half the people they are talking about. They don’t care, though, as long as they can keep hearing the sound of their own voice.
And their fakery as a friend kicks in when they talk about you to other people. They may take one of the few things they have learnt from you during your conversations and use it as social currency to win the attention and favor of others.
Your secrets are never secret with them.
12. They Begrudge Your Success Or Happiness
As well as you might be doing in your job or as happy as you might be in your personal relationships, they won’t be happy for you.
This relates to #2 and their habit of putting you down. They don’t to see other people do well in life because this shines a light on what they see as their own failures.
Some fake friends will even ditch a person whose life is going better than their own because it is too painful for them to admit it.
They won’t congratulate you or cheer you on; they will just go quiet and disappear from your life for a while (or permanently).
But should things ever go wrong for you…
13. They Will Judge Your Mistakes, Failures, And Poor Judgments Harshly
“I told you so” is something you will probably hear a lot from a fake friend.
They are quick to judge and criticize you and point out all the things you did wrong. They claim to say all of these things in your own best interest… to prevent you from doing the same again in future.
But, in truth, they just enjoy feeling superior to you.
They rarely ever console you or lend an ear for you to talk about your problems. They are quick to offer solutions to everything, though, because they know best after all.
Often, they’ll provide the solutions whether you asked for them or not. They want to be your savior so that you are indebted to them, even if they are being anything but helpful.
14. They Hold Grudges And Never Forget (Or Let You Forget)
Should you ever wrong your so-called friend, they will hold it against you for the rest of time.
They might say that they forgive you, but they won’t act they have.
And they have double standards. So if you are running late to meet them, they’ll scold you for it. But if they are late to meet you, they’ll expect you to go easy on them because “it couldn’t be helped.”
Months or even years later, especially if they want to get you to do something or because they want to hurt you for some reason, they’ll say, “Remember when you…?”
This is code for, “You’re a bad person and I want you to remember that.” Or perhaps, “You owe me big time because of that.”
If some of these descriptions have struck a bit close to home, ask yourself why you still have these fake friends in your life.
Be honest, and then take what actions you’re most comfortable with to extricate them from your life.
The Actual Differences Between Being Nice And Being Fake
Who is nice and who is fake? That’s all we’re really trying to figure out, isn’t it? It seems such a simple concept, but when you get deep down into it, it's actually a lot more complicated than you'd think.
It's about meeting new people and getting sucker-punched by them after you thought all they actually wanted to do was be your friend.
It's about thinking people are being genuine when they say you're their friend, but you're really nothing more than a stepping stone along their paths.
You're usually left in the dark wondering where in the hell all these fake people came from and desperately searching just to find some nice ones.
I'm gonna break it down for you right now. It’s almost impossible to decipher who is nice from who is fake without thinking of a million people who have let you down, all those people who just pretended to be your friends, but really weren’t there when it came down to it.
You remember them as you think back, and can recall all those moments they enticed you with their open arms and big hellos.
They were just so goddamn nice that you figured they were going to be your friends. But they weren’t. They were just extending an olive branch for moment, teasing you with it.
You must be careful of fake people. They have their own hidden agenda, an agenda hidden far beyond. They are a sleazy little pawn in their own game of life and they will try to use you to advance themselves in this rat race to nowhere.
They will be these amazing people for week, a month, (hopefully you didn’t keep them around longer than a year, but it happens) and then they show themselves, their true ugly selves.
You see them as they tried to use you, see your small state in their grand play and you fall to the wayside, when you thought you were just confiding in someone good, someone genuine.
How did that just happen? It’s you were just bitch-slapped. Every time you fall into the trap of meeting a fake person, you come out the other side, wondering where you missed the signs.
After this encounter, why haven’t you learned to just weed out the fake and the nice?
As you’re well aware of, these people do a pretty damn good job of hiding their fake essence, and even though we’ve all encountered too many of the sort, we still get tricked up by the slimy buggers.
Who wouldn’t? They come in with their glowing hellos and their big balloons and over-reaching promises.
It’s almost impossible to tell what fake is until you’ve been through the ringer and come out the other side with a few good friends hanging on, and if you’re still reading this, you know what I’m talking about.
So I’m going to try to break it down to its bare bones, the withered endpoints and give you just a few telltale signs of what it looks when someone is being real and someone is being fake:
Nice is doing an act of kindness; fake is telling someone about it after.
Nice is genuine; fake is insincere.
Nice is warmly answering the door; fake is kissing both cheeks.
Nice is checking in on a friend; fake is sending a check.
Nice is being a good person; fake is trying to be a friend.
Nice is being there when you have a call; fake is chewing your ear off.
Nice is just being there; fake is always wanting to be there.
Nice is being there with your wallet; fake it trying to get in it.
Nice is holding a door; fake is slamming it halfway there.
Nice is being kind; fake is being some kind of way.
Nice is holding a cup of coffee; fake is always buying you one.
Nice is listening to your stories; fake is always telling stories.
Nice is being accountable; fake is being relatable.
Nice is being real; fake is being on the “Real World.”
Nice is always around; fake is only there when it's convenient.
Nice is lending a hand; fake is giving a gift.
Nice is being good to you; fake is only giving it to you good.
Nice is hello; fake is always goodbye.
Top Photo Courtesy: Fanpop
8 Signs of Fake People to Look Out For
Christian Vierig /Getty Images
Trying to tell the difference between someone who is genuinely nice and someone who is faking it can be as confounding as trying to tell the difference between a work of art and a well-made replica.
But thanks to some intel from Lifehack, the former doesn’t have to be.
Titled “8 Signs of Fake Nice People You Need to Be Aware Of,” an infographic from Lifehack presents one column featuring eight different traits and behaviors commonly displayed by genuinely nice people and an opposing column showing that fake people typically behave in the opposite manner.
Have you ever gotten the feeling that a person you were friends with or even dating had a hidden agenda or simply couldn't care less about your thoughts and opinions? Heed the advice of the following eight signs of fake people from Lifehack to determine which of your relationships is worth seriously investing in.
When it comes to respect, most would agree that everyone is deserving of this sentiment. Yet, fake people have a tendency to solely respect people in power, according to Lifehack.
Watch out for people who aren’t respectful of everyone around them. If not, they may be faking it.
While genuine people don’t have to put in extreme effort to grow their circle of friends, fake people may try hard to earn the affections of others. Friendship and other kinds of relationships come naturally to those who are truly interested, but Lifehack suggests that fake people go about creating relationships in a less organic fashion.
Melodie Jeng /Getty Images
While it’s okay to crave the spotlight every now and then, one sign of fake people is that they constantly seek attention. In comparison, an authentic person ly knows when to let others shine.
While a quick gossip session can be tempting from time to time, it’s one activity that can help you spot fake people. Honest people are more willing to openly share their opinions while fake people may keep their comments limited to a whisper.
Christian Vierig /Getty Images
Being proud of your hard-earned accomplishments is one thing, but showing off all of the time is a clear sign of a fake person. Genuine people are humble and uninterested in constant bragging, according to Lifehack.
Only those who lack real merits feel the need to criticize others to keep up appearances. Sincere individuals would rather admire and compliment others, while fakers may be quick to put others down in name of making themselves look better.
Christian Vierig /Getty Images
A genuine person will do their best to live up to promises and commitments, but a fake person may talk the talk without walking the walk. Lifehack suggests that fake people easily make commitments, but rarely follow through on them.
A surefire sign of a fake person is one who only shows kindness when it benefits them. In comparison, Lifehack points out that genuine people are just that—genuine. They’re nice and helpful no matter circumstances.
Keep an eye out for these signs of fake people and make room for more meaningful, genuine relationships in your life.