How to Attract Positive Friends
Attracting positive people into your life is ultimately an inside job.
In other words, according to Judith Orloff, MD, bestselling author and assistant clinical professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, we attract positive friends by being positive ourselves.
Orloff recommends that you define what positive and negative attitudes and behaviors are to you, and then seek to embody the positive attitudes and behaviors in your life.
Identify your strengths and project them outward. Orloff suggests that you routinely take the time to focus your “inner pep talk,” choosing to highlight the best parts of yourself instead of focusing on your shortcomings.
For instance, if you have a great sense of humor and are friendly toward others, keep these strengths at the forefront of your mind when meeting others. This practice gives you confidence, says Orloff, and helps to focus your energy in a positive direction.
When you feel more positive, that positive feeling will show in your manner and other positive people are more ly to gravitate toward you.
Practice mindfulness techniques. Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation, can make you feel happier and nicer to people, say writers Dan Harris and Erin Brady in a 2011 ABC News article.
Orloff agrees with this assertion, and adds that once you feel happier, the energy or “vibes” that you give off to others will shift as well, making positive people more responsive to you.
You can practice meditation for 10 or 60 minutes — whatever you're comfortable with — as even a small amount of time spent in meditation each day has been found to be beneficial over time. When you take the time to center yourself and work to feel peace, you are more ly to extend that feeling to others.
Become more self-aware. Orloff recommends meditation, journaling or psychotherapy as a few ways to evaluate your negative thoughts and belief systems, and to begin to heal these aspects of yourself.
Perfection is not the goal here — the idea is to identify and address areas within that may be causing you to feel and project a negative outlook. Practice self-love along this journey, and incorporate humor into your life to keep your energy light and carefree.
tends to attract , so if you're aware of areas where you struggle, you can acknowledge them and work on them and still maintain a generally positive outlook, which is inviting to other positive people.
Practice generosity toward others. The idea that “what goes around comes around” suggests that your kind words and actions toward others will be returned to you.
Perform random acts of kindness, such as letting others in front of you in traffic or at the grocery store. Pay the toll for someone driving behind you, or do some volunteer work.
These acts of kindness will make you feel happier, which will help you attract more positive friends.
- Project love in every step of attracting more positive friends. See the best in others, and learn to entertain more positive self-talk.
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4 Tips to Help You Attract the Right Kinds of Friends
The difference between where you currently are and where you want to be in the next five years will be greatly influenced by the people you spend most of your time with. Friends have the ability to influence, convince and even change you.
Most people allow just any kind of individual into their life without scrutinizing what impact these individuals might pose on them in the long run. This is the reason many have allowed themselves be influenced by bad habits and a false sense of identity.
Too few of us have friends who are a source of inspiration and encouragement for us – both a ladder and a companion. Too many have been quite unfortunate in this regard.
Having and attracting friends who are of the same positive life view as you can be done by harnessing a few simple skills which are greatly overlooked. Implementing these tips listed below will help you find and keep the right friends and relationships.
Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.
– Mark Ambrose
1. Be yourself
The right friends are those who choose to love and accept you just the way you are. They’re not alarmed by your flaws, and neither do they try to change you into someone you’re not.
It is said that “birds of the same feather flock together.” When you pretend and hide your true personality in order to be d or accepted, you’re being fake. The problem with that is you’ll attract people who are fascinated by such personality and character. They won’t love YOU, they’ll only be drawn to the person you’re acting to be.
Dare to be yourself. Do not be shy about your hobbies and fantasies. Talk about what you love and you’ll attract those who share same passions and interests as you.
2. Do not try too hard to be kind
Being kind is good, very good as a matter of fact. But being too kind at the detriment of your well-being and peace of mind is poor judgement, and a risk too expensive to bear. You can be rest assured that your life span will be cut short if you make it an habit to please or be good to everybody at all times.
Most people might turn sour when you stop answering yes to their every request and choose to do something outside their expectation. But the right kinds of friends can’t be bought by good deeds. They are attracted to those who do not try to seek their approval, but are comfortable in airing their opinions without compromise, and are bold enough to act their minds even if it means saying no.
3. Set up standards and stick to them
Standards and principles are boundaries that prevent unwanted personalities into our lives. Principles are what we hold to be true and worthy of following. They govern our lifestyle and guide us along our various paths.
Our standards and principles are how we distinguish between what we view as positive and right and what we consider wrong or obscene. Do not accept any kind of behavior from people that goes against your values or beliefs.
With this simple tip you’ll be able to attract those share same values and principles as you.
4. Keep developing yourself
To attract the right people, you should try to be one yourself. Friendship isn’t about what you expect to gain from the other person, but about what you can contribute to their development and prosperity as well. You can’t contribute anything positive or meaningful to the growth of someone else if you haven’t made any positive investments in yourself first.
Be the best version of yourself and keep learning ways to grow. Do not seek gains or place too many expectations on people, for the best friendship isn’t “self-seeking.” It’s about giving and contributing to the success of someone else.
Be the best version of yourself and you’ll attract others who believe the same.
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